Book Notes #124: Radical Candor by Kim Scott

The most complete summary, review, highlights, and key takeaways from Radical Candor. Chapter by chapter book notes with main ideas.

Title: Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity
Author: Kim Scott
Year: 2019
Pages: 304

Radical Candor is one of those books I really enjoyed because it gave me a fresh way of thinking about leadership and how we talk to each other at work.

Kim Scott wrote it based on what she learned from her time at big companies like Google and Apple, so the advice feels very real and practical.

What I love most is that her idea is actually simple: good leaders should care personally about their team members but also be brave enough to speak openly and directly.

For me, this balance—being kind but clear—is exactly what helps teams trust each other, perform better, and grow together.

As a result, I gave this book a rating of 8.5/10.

For me, a book with a note 10 is one I consider reading again every year. Among the books I rank with 10, for example, are How to Win Friends and Influence People and Factfulness.

3 Reasons to Read Radical Candor

Enhance Your Leadership Skills

Radical Candor provides actionable insights into how to lead teams effectively by fostering a culture of honest communication.

Better Workplace Communication

By applying the concepts of Radical Candor, you can create an environment where employees feel valued, understood, and motivated to perform at their best.

Positive Organizational Culture

Scott’s strategies for scaling Radical Candor across teams can help leaders build a culture that supports continuous improvement and innovation.

Book Overview

Radical Candor is organized into three simple parts: building relationships, how to give (and get) feedback, and creating a culture where open conversations become natural.

The first part focuses on something I think is essential for any leader: building strong, genuine relationships. For Kim Scott, this is the real foundation of good leadership. She introduces the idea of “Radical Candor,” which I love because it’s all about caring deeply about your team but still being brave enough to tell them exactly what they need to hear. It’s honesty—but with kindness.

In the second part, Scott shows us how to actually give and receive feedback. She highlights something I’ve noticed myself: it’s easy to fall into traps like being overly nice (“Ruinous Empathy”) or brutally honest without care (“Obnoxious Aggression”). Instead, she gives practical tips for feedback that’s clear, helpful, and respectful.

Finally, the third section explains how to build a workplace culture that truly supports Radical Candor. I think this part is really important because Scott says clearly that if you want open communication to really stick, it needs to be supported by everyone—from top leaders to every single team member. She even shares ideas for leaders to set an example and make Radical Candor the new normal.

Radical Candor

Throughout the book, Scott shares personal anecdotes, case studies, and practical tips that make her concepts accessible and relatable.

She also addresses the challenges of implementing Radical Candor, acknowledging that it can be difficult to strike the right balance between caring and challenging.

However, she maintains that the effort is well worth it, as it leads to more engaged employees, better decision-making, and ultimately, a more successful organization.

Chapter by Chapter

Chapter 1 – Build Radically Candid Relationships: Bringing Your Whole Self to Work

The Real Job of a Boss

Kim Scott starts with a reality check: being a boss isn’t about meetings, emails, or strategy—it’s about people. And people bring emotions, challenges, and personal struggles into work, whether leaders like it or not. She shares a moment from her startup days when, instead of focusing on an urgent pricing decision, she found herself dealing with a colleague facing a kidney transplant, another with a sick child, and yet another who simply wanted to share good news.

Frustrated, she called her CEO coach and asked, “Am I running a company or acting as an emotional babysitter?” The response was sharp: “This is called management, and it is your job.”

That moment reframed everything. Helping people navigate challenges isn’t a distraction—it’s the core of leadership. A manager’s job boils down to three things: providing guidance, building a strong team, and driving results. But none of these work without trust, and trust isn’t built through authority—it comes from real relationships.

The Foundation of Radical Candor

Scott introduces Radical Candor, a leadership approach built on two principles:

  1. Caring Personally – Treating people as human beings, not just employees.
  2. Challenging Directly – Giving honest feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Most managers struggle with one or the other. Some care a lot but avoid tough conversations, which leads to Ruinous Empathy—a kind but unhelpful approach that allows underperformance to continue unchecked. Others are brutally honest but fail to show they care, creating Obnoxious Aggression—feedback that feels like an attack. And the worst managers do neither, engaging in Manipulative Insincerity, where dishonesty and avoidance create toxic workplaces.

Caring Personally: Why Relationships Matter

Early in her career, Scott learned that people don’t just work for money—they work for leaders they trust. While trying to recruit elite diamond cutters in Russia, she assumed high salaries would make them eager to leave their failing factory. Instead, they wanted something deeper: a boss who cared about them as people. She won them over not with money, but with a simple commitment: “If things go bad, I’ll get you and your families out.”

This moment shaped her leadership philosophy. People don’t quit companies—they quit bosses who don’t seem to care. The best leaders build real relationships by showing vulnerability, taking time to understand their team’s goals and challenges, and recognizing that work is personal.

Challenging Directly: The Value of Honest Feedback

Caring isn’t enough. Great leaders also challenge their teams to improve. Scott shares how she first struggled with this in Japan, where employees hesitated to challenge authority. In contrast, while working in Israel, she saw a culture where engineers openly criticized each other in meetings—not as an attack, but as a sign of respect. The lesson? Being direct doesn’t have to be harsh—it can be a way to help people grow.

Most managers avoid difficult conversations because they don’t want to upset people. But avoiding feedback doesn’t help—it just delays improvement. A leader who won’t tell someone they’re underperforming isn’t protecting them; they’re setting them up for failure.

What Radical Candor Is Not

Scott is clear that Radical Candor isn’t about being rude or blunt for the sake of it. It’s not an excuse to say, “I’m just being honest” before delivering a harsh comment. It’s not nitpicking or micromanaging. And it’s certainly not about forcing artificial closeness.

Instead, Radical Candor is about creating an environment where honesty is normal, where people trust that feedback comes from a place of care, and where conversations—both supportive and challenging—lead to real growth. Leaders who get this right don’t just build high-performing teams; they create workplaces where people actually enjoy working together.

Scott’s message is simple: if you want to be a great leader, forget about power, authority, or processes. Focus on relationships. Care deeply. Tell the truth. And always, always help people get better.

Chapter 2 – Get, Give, and Encourage Guidance: Creating a Culture of Open Communication

Early in her career at Google, Kim Scott gave a high-stakes presentation to CEO Eric Schmidt and the company’s founders. Everything went well—so well, in fact, that Schmidt nearly fell out of his chair when she shared the latest numbers. Riding the high of success, she expected praise from her boss, Sheryl Sandberg. Instead, Sandberg pulled her aside and delivered a mix of encouragement and critique. She highlighted Scott’s strengths but also pointed out a small but important issue: she said “um” too often.

At first, Scott brushed it off. Surely this wasn’t worth a private conversation. But Sandberg pressed on, even offering a speech coach. Still, Scott dismissed it. That’s when Sandberg became blunt: “You are one of the smartest people I know, but saying ‘um’ so much makes you sound stupid.” That got her attention.

What made Sandberg’s feedback effective wasn’t just the directness—it was the balance. She cared personally about Scott’s success while challenging her directly to improve. She didn’t just point out a flaw; she provided support to fix it.

This is the essence of good guidance. Done right, it can push people to improve in ways they wouldn’t on their own. Done poorly, it can either be too soft (and therefore useless) or too harsh (and therefore demoralizing).

The Four Types of Guidance

Scott introduces a framework for feedback based on two dimensions: caring personally and challenging directly.

  1. Radical Candor – The ideal balance: honest feedback delivered with genuine care.
  2. Ruinous Empathy – When feedback is softened too much to avoid discomfort, preventing growth.
  3. Obnoxious Aggression – Harsh feedback that lacks care, creating a fear-based environment.
  4. Manipulative Insincerity – Dishonest or self-serving feedback that damages trust.

Most managers struggle with directness because they fear upsetting people. But avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t help—it just makes problems worse. Sandberg’s feedback worked because she guided Scott toward improvement instead of leaving her to fail silently.

The Power of Clear, Direct Feedback

Scott shares another moment of unexpected Radical Candor—this time from a stranger. While walking her poorly trained dog, she struggled to get it to sit at a busy crosswalk. A man nearby observed her struggle and said, “I can see you really love your dog.” That got her attention. Then, with firm directness, he added, “But that dog will die if you don’t teach her to sit.” Before Scott could react, he bent down, pointed at the ground, and commanded, “Sit!” The dog obeyed instantly.

At first, Scott was startled. But the stranger wasn’t being cruel—he was being clear. He cared enough to intervene, and because of that, she learned something important. The lesson stuck with her: “It’s not mean, it’s clear.”

Too often, managers hesitate to be as clear as that stranger. They think they’re being kind by holding back, but they’re actually being unhelpful. Clarity helps people improve. It’s only mean when directness isn’t paired with care.

The Danger of Poor Feedback

When managers fail to challenge directly, they often fall into Ruinous Empathy—trying so hard to be nice that they let bad habits continue. She recalls the mistake she made with a past employee, Bob. He was underperforming, but Scott avoided giving him clear feedback. She thought she was being kind, but when she eventually had to fire him, he was blindsided. What she thought was kindness was actually negligence. If she had been honest earlier, Bob might have had the chance to improve—or at least prepare.

On the other end of the spectrum is Obnoxious Aggression—feedback delivered without care. This is the classic “tough boss” who criticizes people harshly, often humiliating them in the process. It might get results in the short term, but it destroys trust and morale. Many famous leaders, including Steve Jobs, were known for being brutally direct. But what made Jobs effective wasn’t just his criticism—it was that he was deeply invested in his team’s success. Without that underlying care, directness alone can feel toxic.

The worst form of feedback is Manipulative Insincerity, where managers give dishonest praise or fake politeness to avoid uncomfortable truths. This is what happens when people care more about being liked than being helpful. Scott recalls a moment when she tried to backtrack after an overly aggressive email to Google co-founder Larry Page. Instead of owning her mistake, she falsely apologized, saying, “I know you’re right.” But Page saw through it instantly. Insincere feedback doesn’t build relationships—it breaks them.

Building a Culture of Honest Feedback

Scott argues that the best way to create a culture of Radical Candor is to start by asking for feedback before giving it. When leaders show they can take criticism, they create an environment where honesty is safe. People hesitate to challenge authority, so bosses need to invite it. A simple question—“What’s something I could do better?”—can open the door.

Once honest conversations become normal, managers must also balance praise and criticism effectively. Praise should be specific and meaningful, not generic or exaggerated. It’s about reinforcing great work so people do more of it. And when it’s time to give criticism, managers must remember: the goal is to help, not to tear down. Done right, feedback strengthens teams, deepens trust, and drives better results.

Ultimately, Scott’s message is clear: if you care about people, you owe them the truth. And if you tell the truth the right way, it won’t push them away—it will bring them closer.

Chapter 3 – Understand What Motivates Each Person on Your Team: Helping People Take a Step in the Direction of Their Dreams

Rethinking Ambition

If you want to build a great team, you need to do more than just hire smart people—you need to understand what drives them. Not everyone wants the same things from their career. Some are eager to climb the ladder as fast as possible, while others find deep satisfaction in mastering their craft and staying in a role they love. A manager’s job isn’t to push everyone toward the next promotion—it’s to help them move in the direction of their dreams, at their own pace.

A leader at Apple once explained this using two types of employees: Rock Stars and Superstars. Rock Stars are solid, reliable performers who excel in their roles and don’t necessarily want to climb higher. Superstars, on the other hand, are on a steep growth trajectory, constantly seeking new challenges. Both are valuable, and the best teams have a healthy mix of each.

The problem? Too many managers assume that ambition equals constant growth, failing to recognize the importance of stability. Scott herself made this mistake early in her career. At Apple, she had designed a management course that encouraged bosses to focus on the most ambitious employees, often neglecting those who did excellent work but weren’t chasing promotions. She later realized that this approach was flawed—strong teams need both steady hands and big dreamers.

The Power of Growth Management

Traditional talent management often ranks employees based on “potential,” but this approach is limiting. Instead, Scott suggests focusing on growth trajectory—whether someone is currently on a steep growth path or a more gradual one. This subtle shift in thinking leads to a more effective leadership style because it encourages managers to match people with the right opportunities based on where they are in their lives, not just where the company wants them to be.

Take Larry Page, co-founder of Google. Early in his career, he had a boss who stifled his ambition, forcing him to follow outdated processes instead of letting him improve them. The result? Months of wasted effort and deep frustration. Page never forgot that experience and made it a priority at Google to prevent managers from holding back employees’ ideas. On the flip side, Scott shares her own mistake—assuming that everyone on her team wanted to grow as fast as she did. It took a culture shift at Apple for her to see the flaw in her thinking: growth is personal, and the best managers support the pace that works for each individual.

Why Motivation is Personal

To truly motivate people, managers need to dig deeper. What excites them? What do they want from their careers? What kind of balance are they seeking? Some employees are pushing toward the next big thing, while others might be prioritizing family, side passions, or simply enjoying their work without additional responsibility. The key is not to impose your own ambitions on them but to help them align their work with their personal goals.

Scott shares a great story about two Olympic-level athletes she worked with at Google. Early in their careers, they were on a steep growth trajectory in sports but a gradual trajectory at work, doing just enough to get by. Years later, after retiring from competition, they flipped—pouring all their energy into their careers. The lesson? Growth isn’t linear, and as a manager, you need to adapt to where people are in their journey.

The Problem with the “Follow Your Passion” Advice

Scott challenges the idea that everyone must find deep, life-changing passion in their work. Some people do, but for many, work is just a way to support the life they want. That’s okay. Not every bricklayer needs to believe they are “building a cathedral”—some just want a stable, well-paying job, and that’s a perfectly valid motivation. As a manager, your job isn’t to provide purpose but to understand what drives each person and help them succeed on their own terms.

She gives the example of Google’s hiring approach, where young employees fresh out of college were often placed in repetitive, unglamorous customer support roles. Scott tried to convince them that their work was “funding creativity a nickel at a time.” One sharp employee pushed back: “Look, the job is a little boring. Let’s just admit that. It’s OK.” That honesty reshaped how Scott thought about motivation—some people are driven by passion, while others simply want a steady job that allows them to pursue meaning outside of work.

Keeping Top Performers Engaged

The biggest mistake managers make is ignoring their best people. Many assume top performers “don’t need them” or avoid engaging with them out of fear of micromanagement. But just like a strong marriage isn’t built on ignoring your spouse, great leadership requires ongoing attention to those who are already excelling.

Scott learned this firsthand from Twitter CEO Dick Costolo, who mocked the idea of “hire great people and then leave them alone.” His take? “That’s like saying, to have a good marriage, marry the right person and then avoid spending any time with them. Ridiculous, right?” The same goes for leadership—your top people still need support, growth, and recognition.

Managing Rock Stars and Superstars

For Rock Stars, the key is recognition without unnecessary promotion. Many companies mistakenly tie rewards to upward mobility, pushing employees into roles they don’t want or aren’t suited for. Instead, great managers celebrate their contributions in meaningful ways—whether that’s higher pay, public acknowledgment, or simply respecting their choice to stay in a role they love.

For Superstars, the focus should be constant challenge. These are the employees who thrive on rapid growth and new opportunities. Keeping them engaged means offering stretch assignments, encouraging mentorship, and helping them move forward—even if that eventually means helping them leave for a bigger role elsewhere.

Scott shares the story of two exceptional young employees she helped: Catharine and David. Both were on steep growth trajectories, constantly learning and pushing boundaries. She encouraged their ambitions, helped them land new roles at companies like Google and Facebook, and eventually watched them start their own business. Great leaders don’t hold back high performers—they set them up for success, even if it means losing them.

The Danger of Promotion Obsession

One of the biggest failures in corporate culture is the idea that everyone should strive for promotion. Scott warns that blindly pushing people into management roles just to “move them up” is a mistake. Some of the world’s best engineers, designers, and creatives don’t want to be bosses—they want to master their craft. If Einstein had been forced into a management role, the world might have never seen his theory of relativity.

At Google, they solved this problem by creating an individual contributor track that was more prestigious than the management path. This allowed top engineers to continue growing without being forced into roles they didn’t want. More companies should follow this approach, ensuring that ambitious employees have multiple ways to grow.

No Permanent Labels

People change. Someone on a gradual trajectory today might want a fast-paced challenge tomorrow. Life circumstances shift—parenthood, personal projects, or burnout can alter someone’s priorities. A great boss doesn’t put people into permanent boxes but instead stays engaged, recognizing when it’s time for a shift.

Ultimately, Scott’s message is clear: leadership isn’t about pushing people in one direction—it’s about understanding what motivates them and helping them thrive on their own terms. The best teams aren’t just filled with people chasing the next big thing; they’re balanced, adaptable, and built on trust.

Chapter 4 – Drive Results Collaboratively: Telling People What to Do Doesn’t Work

Why Commanding Doesn’t Work

It’s tempting to think that getting results is all about challenging directly—setting high expectations, giving feedback, and keeping people accountable. But the real magic of great leadership comes from something deeper: collaboration. If you want to achieve something bigger than yourself, you have to work with others—not just tell them what to do.

Kim Scott learned this lesson the hard way at Google. When she arrived to lead the AdSense team, things were chaotic—everyone was doing everything, decisions were unclear, and execution was sloppy. She thought the solution was obvious: divide the team into clear roles, assign responsibilities, and bring order to the mess. It was logically correct—but practically disastrous.

Three of her five direct reports complained to her boss, Sheryl Sandberg, saying she was too autocratic. They felt excluded from the decision-making process and demotivated. Instead of increasing efficiency, her changes drove people away. Sandberg explained it to her with a metaphor:

“Kim, you’re spinning a rope. To you, at the center, it doesn’t seem to be moving that fast. But for the people at the edges, it’s spinning wildly, and they’re hanging on for dear life.”

The problem wasn’t the plan—it was the way she implemented it. She didn’t involve people in the process, didn’t explain her reasoning, and didn’t make them feel like part of the solution.

Steve Jobs and the Art of Collaboration

Even Steve Jobs, known for his strong opinions, didn’t succeed by simply giving orders. He “always got it right,” not because he was always right, but because he insisted on being challenged.

One of Jobs’ former employees recalled arguing with him over a decision. At first, Jobs refused to budge, but after some time, he completely changed his mind—so thoroughly that it was as if he had always believed the new idea.

This wasn’t arrogance; it was a relentless focus on getting it right, rather than being right. Jobs hired people who could stand up to him and push back, knowing that friction produced the best results.

The “Get Stuff Done” (GSD) Wheel

Scott introduces a model for decision-making and execution that doesn’t rely on authority but on collaboration. She calls it the GSD Wheel, and it consists of six steps:

  1. Listen – Create a space where people feel heard and can share ideas.
  2. Clarify – Help ideas take shape, refine them, and ensure they don’t get dismissed too early.
  3. Debate – Encourage rigorous discussion without ego to refine the best ideas.
  4. Decide – Make clear decisions, ensuring they are based on facts, not politics.
  5. Persuade – Get buy-in from the team so that everyone is motivated to execute.
  6. Execute & Learn – Put the plan into action, track results, and adapt based on what’s working and what’s not.

Skipping steps, like going straight from an idea to a decision, often leads to confusion, disengagement, or resistance. The most effective leaders cycle through this process quickly and repeatedly, ensuring constant alignment.

Listening and Clarifying: The Foundation of Execution

At Apple, design chief Jony Ive said a leader’s job is to “give the quiet ones a voice.” Listening isn’t just about being silent—it’s about creating space for ideas to surface.

There are two types of listening:

  • Quiet Listening (like Tim Cook) – Staying silent, allowing others to express themselves fully.
  • Loud Listening (like Steve Jobs) – Provoking discussion by making bold statements to encourage reactions.

Both styles work, but the key is creating a culture where people feel safe to contribute. Without that, collaboration falls apart.

How Debate Strengthens Execution

Debate can feel uncomfortable, but good ideas need friction to sharpen. Scott compares this to Steve Jobs’ “rock tumbler” analogy—where rough, unpolished stones become smooth and beautiful through constant tumbling and friction.

Great teams embrace debate by:

  • Focusing on ideas, not egos – The goal is the best decision, not winning an argument.
  • Creating an “obligation to dissent” – If everyone agrees too quickly, challenge the assumption.
  • Knowing when to pause – Debate isn’t helpful when people are exhausted or emotional.

In one Apple team, a leader handed out gavels with the words “Duty to Dissent” written on them. If discussions weren’t challenging enough, he’d slide the gavel across the table, signaling someone needed to argue the opposite view.

Making Decisions Without Micromanaging

One of the worst leadership mistakes is “garbage can decision-making”—where decisions are made by whoever happens to be in the room, rather than the people with the best information.

Instead, Scott emphasizes:

  • Push decisions into the facts – The best person to decide is the one closest to the data.
  • Seek facts, not recommendations – Asking “What do you think we should do?” can create ego-driven debates. Instead, ask for objective insights before forming a conclusion.
  • Go straight to the source – Like Steve Jobs, great leaders “spelunk” into their organizations, gathering firsthand information rather than relying on filtered reports.

Persuasion: Getting People on Board

A decision isn’t the finish line—it’s the starting point. If people don’t buy in, execution suffers.

Scott references Aristotle’s three pillars of persuasion:

  1. Emotion (Pathos) – Understand what people are feeling and address their concerns.
  2. Credibility (Ethos) – Demonstrate expertise and humility—people trust leaders who admit when they’re wrong.
  3. Logic (Logos) – Show your work; walk people through how you reached a conclusion.

At Apple, Steve Jobs was a master at combining logic with emotion. When Apple launched iTunes for Windows, die-hard Mac fans saw it as a betrayal. Instead of defending the decision with pure logic, Jobs acknowledged their emotions with the famous slide: “Hell froze over.” That small act of empathy made a huge difference.

Execution and Continuous Learning

Execution isn’t just about getting things done—it’s about learning and improving.

At Google, Scott made execution smoother by implementing a simple “ideas team”. Instead of trying to address every new idea herself, she created a system where ideas could be reviewed, debated, and implemented efficiently. One of those small ideas—a programmable keyboard shortcut—led to a 133% increase in team productivity.

The lesson? Good execution isn’t about speed—it’s about momentum. It’s about making collaboration a habit, refining ideas quickly, and ensuring that every step adds value instead of bureaucracy.

The best teams don’t succeed because they have a genius leader making all the decisions—they succeed because they have a leader who builds a culture where ideas flow, debates happen, and people feel ownership over the work.

Chapter 5 – Relationships: An Approach to Establishing Trust with Your Direct Reports

The Core of Leadership: Relationships Over Authority

Many managers are taught that their job is to maximize shareholder value, but Kim Scott argues that focusing too much on numbers and performance metrics can actually backfire. Strong results don’t come from control—they come from trust-based relationships. A boss’s ability to lead isn’t about authority or status; it’s about how well they connect with the people they manage.

Scott learned early in her career that leadership isn’t just about fulfilling responsibilities—it’s about creating an environment where people feel valued, heard, and free to do their best work. She makes it clear that relationships aren’t a distraction from results—they drive results.

Staying Centered: The Foundation of Strong Leadership

You can’t build strong relationships if you’re constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, or distracted. Scott argues that leaders must first take care of themselves before they can take care of their teams. If you’re burned out, it becomes much harder to care personally about your employees.

She rejects the idea of “work-life balance” as a zero-sum game and instead promotes work-life integration—where both aspects of life complement and strengthen each other. Taking time for exercise, family, and personal interests isn’t a selfish act; it’s essential to being a present and effective leader.

Scott shares her own strategy for staying centered: eight hours of sleep, daily exercise, and having meals with her family. She urges leaders to figure out their own “recipe” for stability and put it on the calendar like any other important meeting. The key isn’t perfection—it’s consistency.

Creating a Culture of Freedom and Trust

Once a leader is centered, the next step is creating an environment where employees feel free at work. People perform best when they have a sense of autonomy, rather than feeling micromanaged or controlled.

Scott warns against the dangers of unilateral authority, where decisions are made without input from the team. She points to Google’s culture, which deliberately limits managerial control by requiring peer-reviewed hiring, promotions, and performance evaluations. This approach reduces bias, prevents favoritism, and ensures employees aren’t at the mercy of a single boss’s personal preferences.

She highlights Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s perspective: if you have to invoke your authority to convince people to follow a decision, it probably isn’t a strong decision. Instead of relying on titles or hierarchy, the best leaders focus on persuasion, transparency, and collaboration.

The Art (and Pitfalls) of Socializing at Work

Scott acknowledges that work relationships aren’t built only in meetings—they also develop in informal moments, whether it’s grabbing coffee, chatting between tasks, or even attending social events. However, she warns against forced bonding.

Many companies organize happy hours, team retreats, or off-site events in an attempt to build camaraderie, but these efforts can backfire. Even “optional” events can feel mandatory, putting pressure on employees to attend even when they’d rather not. She shares a story about Marissa Mayer, who was pressured to go on a team whale-watching trip despite knowing she’d get seasick. The takeaway? Team-building should be organic, not forced.

She also highlights the risks of alcohol at work events. While a drink or two might help people loosen up, it can also lead to embarrassing or even destructive situations. She recounts workplace horror stories—employees getting arrested, fights breaking out, and inappropriate behavior ruining careers. While socializing is important, leaders should create an environment where relationships form naturally, rather than relying on parties to bring teams together.

Respecting Boundaries and Building Trust

One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is knowing how much to get involved in employees’ personal lives. Leaders should care personally but not overstep boundaries.

Trust takes time and should be built through consistent actions, not forced intimacy. Regular one-on-one meetings, casual check-ins, and genuine curiosity about employees’ goals and challenges are more effective than staged “values exercises” or artificial bonding activities.

Scott also warns against judging employees based on personal beliefs. Workplaces should be spaces where people with different worldviews can collaborate without feeling alienated. She shares stories of employees in politically liberal environments feeling like they had to hide their conservative views to fit in—just as others might feel pressured to hide aspects of their identity in more traditional workplaces. True Radical Candor means respecting people’s differences while still finding common ground in shared work.

Physical Boundaries and Nonverbal Communication

Scott addresses the often awkward question of physical touch at work. Should colleagues hug? Is it appropriate for a boss to offer a comforting gesture in difficult moments?

She shares a story about Silicon Valley coach Bill Campbell, who was known for his bear hugs. One executive, Stacy Brown-Philpot, recalled how Campbell gave her a hug before offering her some of the best public-speaking advice of her career. Because the hug was warm and natural, it made her more receptive to his feedback.

However, she also acknowledges that physical touch can go wrong. A comforting gesture can be misinterpreted, and unwanted physical contact can destroy trust. The key is understanding individual comfort levels. Some people appreciate a hug; others prefer a handshake or verbal encouragement.

Scott encourages leaders to follow the “platinum rule”—not just treating others how you would like to be treated, but treating them how they are comfortable being treated.

Managing Emotions—Both Yours and Theirs

Leaders set the emotional tone for their teams, often without realizing it. Scott shares a moment when a colleague told her, “I know what kind of day I’m going to have based on your mood when you walk in.” She hadn’t realized how much her energy impacted the team until it was pointed out to her.

Since emotions are contagious, leaders must be aware of how their stress, frustration, or excitement affects others. While repressing emotions isn’t the answer, acknowledging them openly can prevent unnecessary tension. Simply saying, “I’m having a rough day, so if I seem off, it’s not about you” can help prevent team members from misinterpreting your mood.

Scott also advises leaders not to try to control their employees’ emotions. If someone gets upset, instead of saying, “Don’t be mad” or “Calm down”, a better response is to acknowledge their feelings: “I see you’re frustrated—what’s going on?” Emotions are part of the workplace, and handling them with compassion rather than resistance strengthens relationships.

Building Meaningful Relationships That Last

Scott concludes by emphasizing that real relationships take effort. They aren’t built overnight or through grand gestures—they come from small, consistent actions. Checking in with employees, respecting their autonomy, and being emotionally aware creates an environment where people trust their leaders and do their best work.

Ultimately, strong leadership isn’t about control, authority, or forced camaraderie. It’s about creating a culture where people feel safe, valued, and free to contribute their best selves.

Chapter 6 – Guidance: Ideas for Getting, Giving, and Encouraging Praise & Criticism

Why Guidance is the Core of Leadership

Kim Scott sees guidance—giving and receiving honest feedback—as the foundation of strong leadership. It’s the “atomic building block” of management, but also one of the hardest things for people to do well. Many avoid it because they fear hurting feelings, coming off as too harsh, or facing uncomfortable conversations.

But avoiding guidance leads to a culture where problems fester, resentment builds, and performance stagnates. Radical Candor isn’t just about giving feedback—it’s about creating an environment where open, honest, and caring conversations are the norm.

Getting Feedback: Making It Safe for Others to Challenge You

One of the biggest challenges for bosses is getting honest feedback from their teams. The moment you step into a leadership role, people become reluctant to criticize you. Not because they don’t have feedback, but because they worry about consequences, however unintentional.

Scott shares a key lesson: you are the exception to the “criticize in private” rule. As a leader, publicly acknowledging your flaws encourages openness. If your team sees you taking feedback well, they’ll be more likely to embrace it themselves.

She suggests several ways to make it easier for employees to be honest with you:

  • Start with a go-to question – Asking “What could I do or stop doing to make it easier to work with me?” helps open the door.
  • Embrace the discomfort – Most people will hesitate. If they say “Everything is fine,” don’t move on. Give them time. Silence often pushes people to open up.
  • Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond – If you get defensive, you’ve shut the door on future honesty.
  • Reward the feedback – If someone criticizes you, show them you’re taking it seriously. Act on it, even if it’s just a small change.

Scott recalls how Sheryl Sandberg at Facebook pushed her to take feedback seriously. After a presentation, Sheryl told her she said “um” too much. Scott brushed it off, thinking it was minor. But Sheryl pushed back, making it clear that eliminating those filler words would improve her communication. That persistence made Scott realize that embracing small but important feedback is what helps leaders grow.

Giving Feedback: Praise and Criticism with Radical Candor

Many managers either shy away from criticism or soften it so much that it loses its meaning. Others swing in the opposite direction, being too blunt and harsh. Radical Candor is about finding the right balance—caring personally while challenging directly.

Scott offers practical tips to make feedback more effective:

  • Be specific – Saying “Great job!” is useless. Saying “Your analysis on customer trends helped us pivot our strategy successfully” makes the praise meaningful.
  • Criticize immediately and in person – Waiting makes it harder to address and risks turning small issues into bigger ones.
  • Use “situation, behavior, impact” – Instead of saying “You’re not a team player”, say “In the last two meetings (situation), you interrupted teammates multiple times (behavior), which made it harder for everyone to contribute (impact).”
  • Don’t personalize the feedback – Say “That presentation wasn’t clear” instead of “You’re a bad presenter”. One focuses on the issue; the other feels like an attack.

Scott also emphasizes that praise is just as important as criticism. But it needs to be specific, sincere, and centered on real contributions. Generic or insincere praise can be worse than none at all.

Encouraging a Culture of Feedback

A strong team isn’t one where only the manager gives feedback—it’s one where everyone feels safe giving and receiving guidance. Scott shares several strategies that companies have used to build this kind of culture:

  • Public feedback sessions – Some leaders, like Michelle Peluso (CEO of Gilt Groupe), openly share their 360-degree feedback with their team. This sets the tone for transparency and trust.
  • The “Orange Box” system – At eBay, a leader placed a box in a common area where employees could anonymously drop feedback. During all-hands meetings, he’d respond to whatever was inside.
  • Management Fix-It Weeks – Some companies dedicate a week to fixing frustrating management issues, treating them like software bugs. Employees submit “bugs,” and managers focus on resolving them.

These techniques work because they normalize feedback and make it a regular part of the work environment rather than something that only happens in performance reviews.

The Gender Factor in Feedback

Scott also highlights how gender bias affects feedback in the workplace. Women are often labeled as “abrasive” when they challenge directly, while the same behavior in men is seen as confidence.

She encourages managers to challenge their assumptions by switching genders in their minds before giving feedback. If the criticism feels unfair when applied to a male colleague, it might be a sign of bias.

For women, she advises actively demanding more feedback, as some managers might unconsciously hold back. Saying “I need you to be radically candid with me” can help break that barrier.

Final Thought: Feedback is a Leadership Superpower

Guidance isn’t about tearing people down or boosting egos—it’s about helping everyone improve. Leaders who create a culture where honest, caring, and specific feedback flows freely will build stronger teams and get better results.

The challenge isn’t just giving feedback—it’s making it a habit. The more natural and consistent it becomes, the more powerful it is.

Chapter 7 – Team: Techniques for Avoiding Boredom and Burnout

The Balance Between Growth and Stability

Not everyone on your team is on the same trajectory. Some people are ambitious, constantly seeking the next challenge, while others are happy mastering their current role. A strong team needs both. If everyone is pushing for the next big thing, there’s chaos. If everyone stays in place, there’s stagnation. A leader’s job is to find the right balance, ensuring that both high-growth “superstars” and steady “rock stars” are valued.

However, reality is rarely ideal. Some team members are thriving, some are underperforming, and some are barely holding on. It’s tempting to focus on fixing the weakest links, but Scott argues that leaders get the biggest return by investing in their top performers—while still managing and supporting the rest effectively.

Career Conversations: Helping People Move Toward Their Dreams

To truly understand what motivates each person, you need real career conversations—not just performance reviews or promotion discussions. These conversations should focus on:

  • Life story – Learning what shaped them and what drives them.
  • Dreams – Understanding what they ultimately want in life and work.
  • 18-month plan – Helping them take meaningful steps toward those dreams.

Scott shares the story of Russ Laraway, a leader at Google who transformed his demotivated team by helping them articulate their aspirations. Instead of forcing employees into predefined career paths, he encouraged them to think broadly—even embracing “crazy-ass dreams” like running a spirulina farm. By mapping out their skills and motivations, he helped them see how their current work could move them toward their long-term goals.

The takeaway? People don’t leave jobs when they see a clear link between their current work and their future aspirations. Helping employees make that connection is one of the most powerful things a manager can do.

Growth Management: Aligning Aspirations with Opportunities

Once you understand what drives each person, the next step is aligning their ambitions with the needs of the team. Every year, leaders should step back and map out:

  • Who are your rock stars (steady, reliable performers)?
  • Who are your superstars (high-growth, ambitious employees)?
  • Who is doing good work but has room for growth?
  • Who is underperforming but shows potential for improvement?
  • Who is underperforming with no signs of improvement?

This exercise forces managers to challenge their assumptions and ensure that their team’s growth aligns with business needs. It also helps leaders spot biases—such as favoring senior employees for high-performance ratings, even when junior employees are excelling.

Hiring: Finding the Right Fit for Growth and Stability with Radical Candor

When hiring, leaders should be intentional about whether they need a rock star or a superstar for a particular role. If a team has too many high-growth individuals, adding a stable performer can bring much-needed balance.

Scott also highlights bias in hiring decisions. To minimize unconscious bias, teams should:

  • Use structured interviews – Define “team fit” just as rigorously as technical skills.
  • Test real skills – Use work samples rather than relying on resumes.
  • Standardize hiring panels – Ensure the same people assess multiple candidates to allow for fair comparisons.
  • Look for hidden biases – If all the top-rated candidates are similar in background or demographics, challenge the pattern.

The best hires aren’t always the most obvious ones—they are the people who complement the team’s current dynamics.

Firing: The Hardest but Most Necessary Task

Letting go of an employee is one of the toughest parts of leadership, but avoiding it does more damage than good. Keeping underperformers hurts team morale, creates resentment among high performers, and ultimately slows progress.

Scott stresses three key rules for firing well:

  • Don’t wait too long – Address performance issues early instead of letting them drag on.
  • Get external perspectives – Check with peers or HR to ensure fairness.
  • Do it with humility – It’s not about failure; it’s about fit. How you handle the process impacts not just the person being let go but also the entire team.

Leaders often hold onto poor performers out of guilt or discomfort, but the reality is that firing someone is often the kindest thing you can do—for them and for the team.

Promotions: Keeping the Process Fair

Nothing erodes trust faster than favoritism in promotions. Scott warns against two common traps:

  • Promoting people based on relationships rather than results.
  • Letting different managers promote at different speeds, creating a sense of injustice.

To avoid these pitfalls, she suggests calibration meetings, where multiple managers discuss promotions together to ensure fairness. The goal is to ensure that promotions are based on actual impact, not just visibility or politics.

Recognizing Rock Stars Without Forcing Promotions

Too often, companies tie rewards to promotions, pushing people into management roles they don’t want or aren’t suited for. Scott urges leaders to recognize and reward rock stars without forcing them up the career ladder.

Some ideas include:

  • Public recognition – Let rock stars showcase their expertise in team meetings or industry events.
  • Increased responsibility (without a title change) – Give them leadership opportunities without the pressure of management.
  • Thank-you notes and personal appreciation – A simple, handwritten note can mean more than a title.

Not everyone wants to climb the ladder. Celebrating excellence at all levels creates a healthier, more motivated team.

Avoiding Micromanagement and Absentee Management

Great leaders strike a balance between being hands-on and giving people space. Scott outlines three types of managers:

  • Micromanagers – Too involved, controlling every detail.
  • Absentee Managers – Too distant, offering little guidance.
  • Partners – Engaged but empowering, offering support without suffocation.

The best leaders listen, ask questions, and trust their team—without hovering or disappearing.

A truly great team is one where people love their work and feel like they are growing in the right direction. Leaders can create this environment by understanding what drives each person, providing growth opportunities, and keeping the team dynamic balanced.

With the right mix of guidance, trust, and accountability, managers can avoid boredom and burnout—while building a team that thrives.

Chapter 8 – Results: Things You Can Do to Get Stuff Done Together—Faster

Collaboration is the Ultimate Goal

Radical Candor isn’t just about giving feedback or managing people—it’s about creating a culture where teams achieve better results together than they ever could alone. When done right, teams become self-correcting, solving problems before they even reach the manager. This isn’t exclusive to tech startups—strong leadership principles apply everywhere.

Scott recalls a conversation with a New Jersey Transit manager who trained new leaders. His advice? “Don’t start by bossing people around. They’ll just hate you. Start by listening.” That’s the essence of collaboration—building an environment where communication flows freely and people feel ownership over their work.

The GSD Wheel in Action

Scott revisits the Get Stuff Done (GSD) Wheel introduced in Chapter 4:

  1. Listen – Encourage open conversations where team members can express concerns and ideas.
  2. Clarify – Ensure ideas are fully developed before acting on them.
  3. Debate – Allow space for constructive disagreement to refine solutions.
  4. Decide – Make informed choices and clearly communicate them.
  5. Persuade – Get buy-in so people feel committed to executing decisions.
  6. Execute & Learn – Implement ideas, track progress, and adapt based on feedback.

At its best, a team functions almost like a shared mind—decisions flow smoothly, people anticipate each other’s needs, and work happens seamlessly.

Running Effective Meetings

Meetings are necessary, but they should be deliberate and structured, not time-wasting obligations. Scott outlines different types of meetings and how to run them efficiently:

  • 1:1s – These are the most important meetings. Employees set the agenda while the manager listens and helps remove obstacles.
  • Staff Meetings – Focus on reviewing key metrics, getting updates, and identifying critical decisions (without making them on the spot).
  • Think Time – Leaders must block off time for deep thinking. If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen.
  • Big Debate Meetings – Create space for structured debates, separating them from decision-making to encourage honest discussion.
  • Big Decision Meetings – Ensure decisions are fact-based and final, preventing endless rehashing.
  • All-Hands Meetings – Used for transparency and alignment, these meetings should include both presentations to inform and Q&A to address concerns.

Scott warns against meeting overload and suggests teams experiment with “meeting-free zones” or dedicated execution time to prevent work from being buried under endless discussions.

Making Work Visible with Kanban Boards

Workflows should be visible to ensure accountability and prevent bottlenecks. Scott introduces Kanban boards as a simple yet effective tool for tracking progress.

A basic Kanban board includes three columns:

  • To Do – Tasks waiting to be started.
  • In Progress – Tasks currently being worked on.
  • Done – Completed tasks.

By making work visible, Kanban empowers teams to self-manage. People can see where things are stuck, reallocate resources, and avoid micromanagement.

Management by Walking Around

Scott emphasizes the importance of walking around and observing rather than relying solely on reports and meetings. Some of the best insights come from casual conversations rather than formal updates.

She shares how Twitter’s former CEO Dick Costolo used this approach to address a minor but symbolic issue—employees complained about dirty dishes in the kitchen, so he physically moved them himself. This simple action sent a powerful message: if something is broken, fix it.

Culture is Shaped by Small Actions

A leader’s behavior—intended or not—shapes team culture. Even seemingly minor actions, like where a manager parks their car or how they handle office traditions, influence how people perceive leadership.

Scott shares a story from Google: her sloppy parking habits (due to back-to-back meetings) inadvertently signaled a “move fast, ask for forgiveness” culture. If she had been in a more detail-oriented organization, her actions might have sent the wrong message. Leaders must be aware of how their actions impact team dynamics, even in unintentional ways.

Clarifying Expectations and Decisions

When leaders fail to communicate decisions clearly, people fill in the blanks with assumptions. Scott stresses the importance of debating and deciding explicitly, rather than letting culture evolve unintentionally.

For example, decisions around office traditions, holiday parties, and company norms should be made with intention, rather than defaulting to what has always been done. Without clarity, small cultural missteps can create division rather than unity.

Execution is the True Test of Leadership

At the end of the day, a leader’s effectiveness isn’t measured by meetings, presentations, or well-crafted strategies—it’s measured by what gets done. Radical Candor isn’t about endless discussions; it’s about creating an environment where work happens efficiently, transparently, and collaboratively.

4 Key Ideas from Radical Candor

Caring Personally While Challenging Directly

The essence of Radical Candor lies in balancing personal care with direct challenges. Scott argues that effective leaders must genuinely care about their team members as individuals while also being unafraid to challenge them when necessary. This dual approach fosters trust and respect, enabling more honest and productive conversations.

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Ruinous Empathy and Obnoxious Aggression

Ruinous Empathy occurs when leaders avoid giving honest feedback to spare an employee’s feelings, leading to poor performance. Obnoxious Aggression, on the other hand, involves delivering feedback in a way that is overly harsh and uncaring. Both behaviors undermine team morale and effectiveness. Radical Candor offers a middle path that avoids these extremes.

The Importance of Building Trust

Trust is the foundation of effective leadership, and Scott emphasizes its importance throughout the book. By showing that you care personally and are willing to challenge directly, you build trust with your team. This trust is essential for creating an environment where open communication and continuous improvement are possible.

Feedback as a Continuous Process

Scott stresses that feedback should not be a one-time event but a continuous process. Regular, ongoing feedback helps employees understand what they are doing well and where they need to improve. It also allows for course corrections before small issues become big problems.

6 Main Lessons from Radical Candor

Develop Genuine Relationships with Your Team

To apply Radical Candor effectively, start by building genuine relationships with your team members. Get to know them as individuals, understand their strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. When employees feel that you care about them personally, they are more likely to accept and act on your feedback.

Practice Giving Direct and Constructive Feedback

Don’t shy away from difficult conversations. When giving feedback, be clear and specific about what needs to change and why. Use examples to illustrate your points and focus on behaviors rather than personal attributes. Constructive feedback delivered with care can help employees grow and improve their performance.

Encourage Open Communication at All Levels

Make it clear that you value honesty and openness in your team. Encourage employees to speak up, share their ideas, and provide feedback. By modeling Radical Candor yourself, you set the tone for the entire team and create a culture where everyone feels safe to express their thoughts.

Be Receptive to Feedback from Others

Radical Candor is not just about giving feedback; it’s also about receiving it. Be open to feedback from your team and show that you value their input. When leaders are receptive to feedback, it creates a two-way street of communication that benefits the entire organization.

Adapt Your Approach to Different Situations

While the principles of Radical Candor are universal, how you apply them may vary depending on the situation. Consider the individual you are dealing with and tailor your approach accordingly. Some employees may need more encouragement, while others may respond better to direct challenges. Flexibility is key to making Radical Candor work in diverse environments.

Commit to Continuous Learning and Improvement

Radical Candor is not a one-time fix but an ongoing practice. Commit to continuously improving your communication and leadership skills. Reflect on your interactions with your team, seek feedback on your own performance, and make adjustments as needed. By doing so, you’ll create a more effective and harmonious work environment.

My Book Highlights & Quotes

Empathy is not compassion. Connection, resonance, and concern might not lead to action. But empathy is a component of compassion, and a world without healthy empathy, I believe, is a world devoid of felt connection and puts us all in peril.

I’d always focused on the people most likely to be promoted. I assumed that was how it had to be at a growth company. Then a leader at Apple pointed out to me that all teams need stability as well as growth to function properly; nothing works well if everyone is gunning for the next promotion.

Your relationships with your direct reports affect the relationships they have with their direct reports, and your team’s culture. Your ability to build trusting, human connections with the people who report directly to you will determine the quality of everything that follows.

Once people know what it feels like to have a good boss, it’s more natural for them to want to be a good boss.

Eliminate the phrase “don’t take it personally” from your vocabulary—it’s insulting. Instead, offer to help fix the problem. But don’t pretend it isn’t a problem just to try to make somebody feel better.

When giving praise, investigate until you really understand who did what and why it was so great. Be as specific and thorough with praise as with criticism. Go deep into the details.

The most important thing you can do for your team collectively is to understand what growth trajectory each person wants to be on at a given time and whether that matches the needs and opportunities of the team. To do that, you are going to have to get to know each of your direct reports at a personal level.

Only when you get to know your direct reports well enough to know why they care about their work, what they hope to get out of their careers, and where they are in the present moment in time can you put the right people in the right roles and assign the right projects to the right people.

One of the most common mistakes bosses make is to ignore the people who are doing the best work because “they don’t need me” or “I don’t want to micromanage.” Ignoring somebody is a terrible way to build a relationship.

Make sure that you are seeing each person on your team with fresh eyes every day. People evolve, and so your relationships must evolve with them. Care personally; don’t put people in boxes and leave them there.

But a boss’s job is often to keep the debate going rather than to resolve it with a decision. It’s the debates at work that help individuals grow and help the team work better collectively to come up with the best answer.

If you get too far away from the work your team is doing, you won’t understand their ideas well enough to help them clarify, to participate in debates, to know which decisions to push them to make, to teach them to be more persuasive.

The important thing to do is to stay in touch with your personal values, and to demonstrate them in how you manage your team, not by writing down things like “hard work,” “honesty,” and “innovation” on a piece of paper.

To build Radically Candid relationships, do not try to prevent, control, or manage other people’s emotions. Do acknowledge them and react compassionately when emotions run high. And do try to master your reactions to other people’s emotions.

That’s why when you become the boss it’s important to work so hard to earn your team’s trust. You may be worried about earning their respect, and that’s natural. Unfortunately, though, being overly focused on respect can backfire because it’ll make you feel extra defensive when criticized. If, on the other hand, you can listen to the criticism and react well to it, both trust and respect will follow.

If you’re not one of those people who instinctively welcomes criticism as an opportunity to improve, you’ll of course feel a strong urge to act defensively—or at the least to explain yourself. This is a natural response, but it pretty much kills any chance that you’ll get the person to offer you the gift of candor again. So don’t feel bad that you are having this very normal human reaction. Manage your feelings rather than letting them manage you. Remind yourself going in that no matter how unfair the criticism, your first job is to listen with the intent to understand, not to defend yourself.

If you must criticize or correct somebody over email, do not Reply All. Never. Even if there’s a small factual error that went out to a lot of people, reply just to the person who made the factual error and ask that person to Reply All. For praise on small things, I found that a quick Reply All email worked pretty well. This kind of praise takes only a moment, and it shows that you are noticing and appreciating what’s going on around you.

When you have to fire people, do it with humility. Remember, the reason you have to fire them is not that they suck. It’s not even that they suck at this job. It’s that this job—the job you gave them—sucks for them.

There are four very good reasons to push yourself to identify underperformance early. One, to be fair to the person who’s failing. If you identify a problem early, you give the person time to address it. You also reduce the shock if they can’t or won’t address it and you wind up having to fire the person. Two, to be fair to your company. If you identify and address problems early enough, you dramatically reduce the risk of getting sued or the chance that you’ll have to keep them on the payroll for months of painful legal documentation. Three, to be fair to yourself. When you give somebody a good rating one quarter and fire them the next, word gets around, and it undermines trust with everyone else. Not to mention that you risk being sued by the fired employee. Although it is time-consuming and unpleasant to address performance problems, it takes a lot more time and is far more unpleasant to deal with a lawsuit. Four, and most importantly, you want to address underperformance early to be fair to the people who are performing really well. Tolerating bad work is unfair to the people who are doing excellent work.

I usually email people about a month after I’ve fired them to check in. I try to keep my ear to the ground about jobs they might be well-suited for. But even if I don’t have anything to offer, I will reach out. Often, I’m the last person they want to hear from, and so if I don’t hear back I don’t push it, and I don’t blame them.

1:1s are your must-do meetings, your single best opportunity to listen, really listen, to the people on your team to make sure you understand their perspective on what’s working and what’s not working.

Here are some follow-up questions you can ask to show not only that you are listening but that you care and want to help, and to identify the gaps between what people are doing, what they think they ought to be doing, and what they want to be doing:

“Why?”

“How can I help?”

“What can I do or stop doing that would make this easier?”

“What wakes you up at night?”

“What are you working on that you don’t want to work on?”

“Do you not want to work on it because you aren’t interested or because you think it’s not important?”

“What can you do to stop working on it?”

“What are you not working on that you do want to work on?”

“Why are you not working on it?”

“What can you do to start working on it?”

“How do you feel about the priorities of the teams you’re dependent on?”

“What are they working on that seems unimportant or even counterproductive?”

“What are they not doing that you wish they would do?”

Here are some questions that you can use to nurture new ideas by pushing people to be clearer:

“What do you need to develop that idea further so that it’s ready to discuss with the broader team? How can I help?”

“I think you’re on to something, but it’s still not clear to me. Can you try explaining it again?”

“Let’s wrestle some more with it, OK?”

“I understand what you mean, but I don’t think others will. How can you explain it so it will be easier for them to understand?”

“I don’t think ‘so-and-so’ will understand this. Can you explain it again to make it clearer specifically for them?”

“Is the problem really that they are too stupid to understand, or is it that you are not explaining it clearly enough?”

Conclusion

The central idea behind Radical Candor is simple but powerful: great leaders should genuinely care about their people and still be brave enough to challenge them directly. I think this is an amazing way to approach leadership and workplace relationships.

What I like most about Kim Scott’s style is how clear and practical she is. She doesn’t use complicated words or trendy phrases; she just gives straightforward advice that’s easy to apply right away. Her book is full of practical tips, which makes it really helpful for anyone leading a team.

Another thing I appreciate is her strong focus on empathy. Scott challenges the common belief that good leaders have to be tough or distant. Instead, she shows that caring deeply about your team members is essential for building trust and improving performance. For me, this is especially important in today’s workplace, where authenticity and genuine connection really matter to people.

She also emphasizes that feedback should be an ongoing conversation, not just a one-time event. I completely agree—regular, honest feedback helps everyone grow. Scott offers great advice on how to give feedback clearly, kindly, and effectively, creating a culture where people feel comfortable speaking openly.

Of course, applying Radical Candor isn’t always easy. Scott admits it can be tough to balance caring personally with speaking directly. It takes self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and a willingness to keep improving. But I truly believe the effort is worth it. Teams become more engaged, decisions get better, and the whole organization becomes stronger.

If you want to become a better leader or communicator, I’d definitely recommend Radical Candor. Whether you’re just starting out as a manager or you’ve been leading teams for years, this book gives you valuable lessons to build stronger relationships, deliver helpful feedback, and create a positive and open work environment.

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